Life moves pretty fast.

today i am particularly distracted. like, stare into space distracted.

2009-12-04T19:15:47Z

Sometimes a song just makes me want to be in the middle of nowhere, with just it and my thoughts.

Now would be one of those times.

I will bite my tongue. Except here.

2009-11-16T15:54:22Z

Let the record state that listening to Until the Day I Die this morning is fucking killing me. KILLING ME.

and you were there, and you...

2009-11-03T17:20:30Z

my dreams. they're gonna eat me alive. or asleep. or whatever. no, really. they're fucking intense.

i feel horrible right now.

i keep looking for something or someone that I always know is so close. and i can't find it. or them. usually.

this time i don't even know where i was supposed to be, but there were lots of corridors, and windows with random stuff behind them, like a history museum or something. i was chasing someone, and trying so hard to get away from everyone, but i didn't want to be alone.

and then... i was on a bed. and jenn was there. and she brought a huge sea lion. and he was so cute and soft. and he loved me. and we cuddled.

and then... there was this kids craft room of epic significance. and i had to sculpt something but i couldn't figure out what. and there was this ...thing. and i wanted to take it. and hold it. and run away. and i was staring at it so hard...you know when you really focus on something in your dream, and wake up only to realize it was just some faceless person or blurry page or whatever...i couldn't get close enough, or see it clearly enough, and i kept telling myself over and over that I couldn't touch it, but i had to do it, because looking at this...this completely beautiful thing...hurt? no, really, i totally had this emotional breakdown. i am completely drained, though moderately amused at how my brain interprets things. like being selfish.

this morning i woke up at 5:30 and couldn't fall back asleep because I couldn't stop thinking about what I had just woken up from. and i'm tired. and my whole face is puffy.

and...um...i feel kind of weird because there was this one part where katiem00 was laying in my lap wearing low pants and I told her i loved her hip bone. is that weird? i think that's weird. but i am totally into hip bones.

oh, yeah, and fucking last week, i had a dream that i made out with a door. A DOOR. WHAT THE FUCK. was this really necessary to remember? really?

hawtspot @ 2009-11-01T14:30:00

2009-11-01T22:33:41Z

Okay. Just stopping by to say I think today might be the most beautiful day of the year. It's warm. It's windy. It's perfect. And here I am, at work, with a hangover.

Cheers.

Becca is awesome, abridged

2009-10-16T19:56:57Z

Becca's status message: Amazing how cookies, wine, & cheese can turn a crappy morning into a wonderful one.
Becca: I'm eating cheese
me: I wish I was eating cheese. I’m hating life. I’m bored of everything.
Becca: brb

**15 minutes later**

<3 cheese.

<3 cookies.

<3 Becca.

Dammit.

2009-10-12T01:08:06Z

Bitches beat me to it.

Whatever, I'm gonna rock the shit out of this. And I'm not even blonde. JUST YOU WAIT.

Harley Quinn via Arkham Asylum by ~punktorian on deviant ART

Arkham Harley by ~gothamsfinestAUS on deviant ART

Arkham Asylum Harley Quinn 2 by ~FeliciaNoir on deviant ART

And one more.

2009-10-08T06:34:40Z

Because I just thought of it (re: this):

I thought I hated this band til I heard this song.
Silversun Pickups - Panic Switch

That is all.

Not to be confused with Spike Jonze

2009-09-26T01:02:23Z

Imagine my confusion as a sheltered high school kid when people would talk about Spike Jonze, and I was raised on this guy. I freakin' love him.

Thanks for all the good times, and goddamn you all and your freaky sci-fi existences

2009-09-21T21:02:49Z

Reading this, and thinking of Becca.

Like a hole in the head

2009-09-16T23:49:10Z

I have additions to this list.

• These song titles are right up there with Minus the Bear's
• I'm drinking alone tonight, in case you couldn't tell
• Songs that have that little kid piano in them
• These songs were better before I saw the video
• I didn't like this song til I saw it on a dramatic TV show (*ehem* Gossip Girl)
• I want these songs back so I can give them to someone else
• Let's cry and then make out and then probably cry again
• Songs to listen to when you're feeling shitty and want to feel shittier
• In theory, this should not sound pretty
• I am now uncomfortable that this song was playing earlier because I didn't know what they were singing about
• Goddammit, you wrote these about your fucking kid? Ugh.

I'm going to start on them. I really am. Becca, I hope you will too.

But I don't know where to start!

Actually I do.

Ok.

Bye.

i had so much to say

2009-09-09T16:19:31Z

and now i don't remember.

i guess i'll go.

Pitbull + Frog = Bullfrog? -or- There's a toad in my Pepsi

2009-09-03T16:18:52Z

Dear Reckless Abeccabandon,

If you ever compile a book of essays titled "There's a pitbull in my shower," you should probably have this lady contribute this story.

Oh god, this so calls for a list. We should tag-team-google-doc this shit.

OK Bye.

XOXOMG,
Fancy Pants

hawtspot @ 2009-08-25T14:25:00

2009-08-25T21:28:01Z

the following is keeping me from doing anything:

nothing.

now i wait and see if documenting it makes a difference.

Speaking of "is my crack"

2009-08-21T20:43:36Z

DAMN. IT.

I thought I had changed. I thought I was a better person.

I thought, hey, I don't need to sit in front of my computer all day and download music I've never heard before, or go through Spin and look up every new artist I see and make a list of songs to grab and CDs to buy and playlists that need to be made. I can listen to Slacker. This is ok. This will fill my music-obsessing void.

WRONG.

Today, you win. I can't push you out of my head anymore.

Hype Machine, I'm yours. And yes, I HATE YOU.

But you make me feel so goooooooooooooooood!!!

Old habits. Die hard.

what the hell, she's posting something?

2009-08-14T19:39:08Z

ohai lj! Is anybody out there?

So. I was thinking (this never ends well).

When I was a little kid, music was so freakin good. Socks were awesome. Multiple pony tails: radical. I even loved Mtv.

Fast forward: late elementary/middle school. I was sad that Debbie Gibson was harder to come by and no one wore more than one pair of socks at the same time.

High school: Clearly had 80s hang ups. Got depressed because I wished I'd graduated HS in 1984. Hell, senior year I'm in two random yearbook spreads - both times decked out all 80s (to the MAX) for totally unrelated reasons.

College: I start digging up every book and toy from my childhood and decorating my room with them. I find MLP on DVD, and even start watching cartoons again that my grandma TAPED for me when I was like 6. I also kick myself every time I think about how I should not have given away my hypercolor shirt. Damn you, me.

I guess that brings us to the now era? So now people have 80s parties and neon clothing is finally easy to find and all around the trendiness of 80s shit is pretty satisfying. I feel like I need to go out and buy everything, cuz if I miss my window I'm gonna have to wait another 30 years before it all resurfaces and I *might* be ugly and fat by then and....well, yeah. Not worth taking that chance.

Whatever. This is all completely irrelevant. The point was actually that I figured out a way to solve the "i am not in the 80s" problem.

I DID!

So, we just go back in time, you know, to the 80s, and we stay there. We don't wish we were in high school for them, or for college, or for our 20-somethings or thirty-somethings. We just go STAY IN THE 80s FOREVER. I seriously can't believe I didn't think of this sooner.

I'm such an idiot.

PS. And yes, we can take modern technology with us. Twitter in the 80s? Fucking awesome.

PSS. You rain on my parade, you lose a testicle.

Today, Katie is my favorite.

2009-04-15T00:08:25Z

Example A:

FireBadMattGood: Would you rather have sex with Jessica Alba 4 times or have Jessica Biel hand feed you Doritos whenever you want for the rest of your life?
manakatie: If you chose Jessica Biel, you'd be #settlingfordoritos hahahahaha

Example B:

me:...a guy in a banana suit just walked by. Really.
me: <- is never eating again.
manakatie: Did you eat the banana?

And now I'm gonna do that thing where I tell you about shit I did.

2009-04-13T18:58:29Z

Weekend Highlights:

• True North. Weird and out-of-place feeling bar in North Park. Delicious and weird gin/juice/tea drink named Cherry Bitch.

• Amazing stories from Stephanie including "THERESAMARINEINMYBED" and, paraphrased, "OMGWTFDIDYOUJUSTSPEWOONTOMYLEG?!"

• First time at Ranchos. Atmosphere: 5 stars. Food: NOWHERE NEAR as good as El Zarape.

• Reuniting with the Winchesters for several hours.

• A lovely wedding with a memorable centerpiece theft tale that should never be told because it wouldn't be funny unless you were there, also overheard a little girl shouting "I LOVE BALLS. BALLS ARE AWESOME."

• Chocolate.

• Attempted game of "catch up" with Heroes, still have like 6 more to go.

• A dream that Birdie was my camera, and I kept him in my purse, and pushed down on his head to focus.

March 23, 2009

2009-04-06T19:32:53Z

Here is what I started writing on March 23rd and never finished. It is no longer news, except I still like the "your mom" part, so I figure it's worth immortalizing via blog.

I started off the weekend the right way.

I left work at 3 on Friday and headed to the AT&T store. It was time to say "Fuck off" to Verizon and "I love you. Please take me back. Let me take a beautiful glorious iphone home. Right now." to AT&T. So I walk up to the counter, and the guy that is helping me out just gets totally harassed buy his co-worker the whole time, and it was pretty awesome. At one point, the harasser called the harassee a receiver cable, at which point I decided to tell said harasser that his mom was a receiver cable, at which point I was high-fived by harassee. It was so unprofessional, I immediately knew that switching to AT&T was a fantastic decision.

So, I now have my glorious iphone, and I love her so much. Here she is, matching my feet. I named her Jem.

And here she is making out with Ryan's phone.

The end for now.

RIP

2009-04-01T04:40:36Z

I just heard that Andy Hallett died of congestive heart failure. He was only 33. I never knew how young he was. I never even knew what his real face looked like. The news made me cry and wish I was with Beth.

See ya, Lorne :(

...but say hi to Doyle for us :)

The Reunion.

2009-03-11T00:09:18Z

Gawd.

First of all, I'm fucking old.

Second of all, my 10 year high school reunion is next year.

I'm not going.

I'm not!

I've talked to Becca about this on several occasions. I say, I hate so many of these people, I see them around on MySpace and Facebook and a handful of them - rather, THE handful of them - have NOT changed. They look the same, they still hang out together, and frankly, I don't want to know how successful they've been financially or how jerk-faced they still are. I don't want to know who is dead, and I don't want to know who has turned their life around. But Becca says what about the people you DON'T hate? Wouldn't it be great to be with them all in the same place?

Sure, it might be fun.

But then again, with genuinely mean people around, it's sort of hard o enjoy yourself.

Jenn and I talked about high school a couple months ago. And first of all, can I clarify something? I had an AWESOME time in high school. I had awesome friends who I still have now. I wouldn't change much if I did it all again.

BUT!

Back to talking to Jenn. SO we pulled out the yearbooks, and we were just looking at pictures...and then the memories started coming back. We'd see someone's mug and be like, "OH GOD, I HATED her" or "Holy shit, I forgot she existed, that fucking BITCH!!" And it soon became apparent that we really hated a lot of people that went to our school. I can't speak for everyone, but I never had any horrible personal run-ins with our "in" crowd. But I saw the way people talked down to the "geeks" and weird kids...I know, it's high school, every neighborhood has them. Yeah, sure. But fuck them!! What the fuck! I fucking love geeks, you assholes!

Okay, tangent, sorry.

The point is, these kids were spoon fed everything, they did a lot of drugs, had a lot of money and totally had an elitist complex. In lots of cases, I think these types of people definitely grow up after high school. But in our case - from what I've seen on this here interwebs and just running into these guys downtown and in PB (I will NEVER, EVER set FOOT in PB Bar & Grill), it is sooooooo blatantly obvious that THEY ARE THE SAME. And that's sad. And it's also sad that I have thought about it this much, it's sad that I can't just let it go, and it's sad that another reason I don't want to go to the reunion is because I would have to see two people who I blocked on facebook who I dislike for other reasons ;P.

Anyway, a friend from High School invited me to join the reunion group on Facebook. It's up to like 90 something people now. There were 500 of us. I looked at the list. There's a good number of people who I forgot about and was like, "Oh yeah! I wonder what she's been up to!" but for the most part, (and I laugh as I say this) I fucking hate those kids!! It's totally funny. And sad, like I said. So I didn't join the group. I'd rather stay out of it.

I don't need to experience "Ari, Jenn & Becca's High School Reunion" Romy & Michele style.

That's what the High School Stereotype parties are for.

me. want. frozen. thinmint.

2009-03-05T00:31:26Z

why cant i fucking find any fucking girl scouts selling their fucking cookies.

OMG.

2009-02-20T17:17:52Z

Dear Friends,

I moved. I have no time to unpack. I have to clean the old house this Saturday. I also have to work this weekend. And I am going back to Houston next Thursday. I'll be back Friday. And if I can't finish unpacking next weekend, I will be fucking sad. But holy shit. The new house is fan.fucking.tastic.

PLease forgive me for not talking to you. I love you. I'm just busy.

Love,
ME!

Motley Crue Bassist Nikki Sixx Insults Female Fan

2009-02-13T17:29:42Z

That's right, Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx insults female fan in San Diego.

And Katie says, "I was pretty sure this was going to be about Ari."

You can laugh, or you can watch starting at 1:30 and see that it was NOT ME. I would never throw a bottle at a rock star. Especially not at a washed up has-been ;P

i had a dream last night

2009-01-21T17:45:45Z

Um. I'm kind of embarrassed. We went to dinner - a group of 8, don't remember all the faces - but definitely Jenn and Bonnie. We took a bus...in the river that runs parallel to 52. And ate on East San Diego Island. Which is north of Tierrasanta. And Bonnie brought Sam and Dean Winchester. And they were talking about 24. And I wanted to say I was too busy watching every episode of Supernatural* and I do not watch 24. But then I was like, is that rude? To acknowledge that someone is on a TV show? When no one else had brought it up? And maybe they didn't want anyone to know? And I decided yes, I best not bring it up.

*This is the show that Becca refuses to watch because she knows that the creators intended for you to want to jump Sam & Dean's nuts, but she does not find them attractive. But really, if even Chris wants to spoon them**, the show must be good.

**Sorry, I kind of made that part up.

PS. The music on the show is freaking great.

Welcome back.

2009-01-05T07:39:44Z

We did not send out any Christmas cards.

I did not work on my book at all.

I did not finish Mark's website or start on Krystle's.

I did not make a gift certificate to notify my mother she now has $100 to spend on her hair.

I did not buy my dad's Christmas present.

I did not see my dad's side of the family at all.

Oh wait, I did not see my mom's family at all.

I knitted 5 scarves - but all before Christmas.

I did not clean the kitchen floor after the NYE party.

I did not sell my old car.

I did not take my new car in for preventative maintenance.

I did not play Little Big Planet!!

So, what did I do?

I played Twilight Princess for 35 hours (only breaking for 12 hour naps). Watched season 1 of Supernatural. Drank too much 4 nights in a row. Threw a NYE party, Wine & Cheese party and a Xmas party. Went to LA for 2 days. Did more shopping for myself than for others (naturally, 'tis the fucking season). And I'm pretty sure that's it. Oh, and yeah I ate a lot. Obviously. But seriously, I drank so much that I don't want to drink again til President's day. And even then, I'm going to make sure it's okay with my liver first.

I have no desire to go to work again. No desire to drive a car again. I just want to eat and shop occasionally and I want someone to take me out to do these things so I don't have to take myself. I have no motivation after the last 3 days spent entirely in front of the TV playing Zelda. The past week I have not managed to get out of bed before noon. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed. And I fucking hate football, by the way.

And yes, also by the way, I also think New Years is a joke, and a really lame excuse for people to do that dumb thing called "New Years Resolutions" holy shit, omg. If you want to change your lifestyle, do it. Don't make a list of shit, put it off till January and then don't do it anyway. omg. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.

Yep.